May 2013
168 posts
drblaine:
the boobs on game of thrones aren’t even a big deal to me anymore
i’m like oh there’s a boob
hi boob
how are you, boob
how’s the family
side effects of being friends with me include gaining extensive knowledge of tv shows you dont watch or care about
frozenfoods:
[esteban voice] thees ees a deesaster
stripforharry:
soolooxcoopter:
obesealpaca:
When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know
Those fries could be salted with tears
So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through
there are two kinds of people
nahshaw:
I won’t be satisfied with my life until I meet someone who’s a sarcastic piece of shit like me and is attractive and wants to fuck me bye
nahshaw:
please don’t be that asshole who makes fun of people for liking “mainstream” stuff if you make fun of someone for liking something that makes them happy i will literally rip your heart out and fucking bathe in your blood don’t try me bitch
tom-sits-like-a-whore:
whenever weird shit happens to me i don’t even question it i just walk away because i will not be one of those people in the first 30 seconds of Supernatural no sir no ma’am
So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol...
theshelbylife:
incestuous-lesbianponies:
laurarw:
I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG
HOLY SHIT
rocker310:
stylishirish:
horain:
stylishirish:
this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back
that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.
it was a mechanical pencil
You may...
romulusthread:
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
riddlemetom:
every fandom has put its characters in hogwarts houses at some point it’s just a straight up fact
randomstuff134:
sodamnrelatable:
take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
fancifullauren:
irishfangirlshipper:
dorkstrider:
why do women’s clothing designers believe that girls do not need pockets
It’s so they can sell us bags
fullmetalfisting:
one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
fullmetalfisting:
one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
treeyonce:
resume: sometimes i can draw straight lines without a ruler
ghosthug:
swaggie: je swag, tu swags, il/elle/on swag, nous swagons, vous swagez, ils/elles swagent
pingustolemysanity:
imagine-your-fav-character:
Imagine your favorite character barging into your room this moment, grabbing your hand, and taking you with them into their world
Lets be honest though most of us would be dead within a week
3ridan:
riddlersgammon:
hyungstrider:
if you ever get Sad just throw whatever youre holding onto th ground and yell ‘FOOTBALL’ as loud as you can
what if its a baby
dont question the man he gave you clear fucking instructions
Stop making people feel bad for liking things that make them happy
ollymurs:
i dont wanna go to college i wanna go to concerts
sithlordtennant:
sithlordtennant:
SO IN AN ATTEMPT TO HAND IN AN ASSIGNMENT LAST MINUTE, I HURRIEDLY UPLOADED THE WRONG FILE TO MY TEACHER AND
hOW the HEL DID THIS GET 65 NOTES YOU MOCK MY MISERY
youwishangelfish:
Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
alltimeboners:
things that are enjoyable:
showers
things that are not enjoyable:
getting in the shower
getting out of the shower
spookthempolitely:
when i first got my tumblr i was a huge fucking dork and i enabled that thing that puts your tumblr posts on your facebook but then i forgot that i did that and reblogged a post that said “reblog if your dick is as big as the universe” and my mom was like “oh my” and my great uncle saw it and commented “that’s my girl” and i have never been so done in my life
sorry im poor i cant afford to pay attention
princeowl:
princeowl:
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like sushi bars i could really use some fish right now fish right now fish right now
this post would have been a hit in 2010
THINGS I LIKE
when people use my name in conversation
when people say “this reminded me of you!”
when people remember little things i say/do
when people genuinely thank me for things i’ve done for them
when i think of the same thing at the same time as someone else and you give each other the look
my mom's logic: if i don't remember it, it didn't happen
thatfunnyblog:
vanessa hudgens wears flower crowns and cool sandals and crop tops and goes to music festivals with her hot boyfriend that is how i want to live
avenue:
january 2013: this shall be my year
may 2013: well, shit
psychoticmist:
if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
bombliate:
how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
gabanti:
my biggest problem in life is that you can’t put emphasis on “i” by capitalizing it
extreme makeover: home edition
girl: i kinda like horses
ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE
